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Wed, Apr. 19th, 2006, 08:34 pm
This would have been easier if I could draw.

I really should know better, but I clicked on a link to the DC message boards, topic of the new Frank Miller cover.

In summary... this is why I’m going to stay way the hell over here okay thanks. However, one exchange did catch my attention and would not let me shake it as it might have a sane person.

maelithil:
Depicting [women] as an ass, a pair of tits, some gorgeous thighs is doing them a disservice. Distilling them into nothing but their sexual attributes is objectifying. And that's exactly what this cover does.


Random Fanboy:
And notice that Superman's chest is OFTEN a whole panel unto itself. Not Superman fighting the bad guy. Not Superman standing full figure. Superman's chest. Just his chest. His huge, massive, S-draped, extraterrestrially muscular chest. Is Superman being objectified? Is he being used? Should I cry for Superman?


And. Just. What? This is the counterexample?

But! Maybe it’s not that his logic is just that scary. Maybe it's hard to understand what she’s talking about because it really, honestly is that there’s no comparable example featuring a male denizen of the DCU. I mean, even the occasional Nightwing crotch shot *tries* to have context.

Obviously, something had to be done. For The Good Of Fandom.

Luckily, much like Miller, I have no shame.

 
Totally Appropriate Covers (with bonus, never before seen script excerpts!)

 



Hal’s flying away from us through a generic starfield, nothing interesting to see except him. Have him wriggle around, giving us a good shot of his package. Add some details, something fancy for the fanboys to drool over, but don’t let it draw attention away from the point of the cover – that Kyle has nothing, NOTHING, on my boy Hal.

 



Be careful with this one – we don’t want Supes to come off as too powerful, too imposing. Maybe have him lean a bit, off balance, the better to show off his *well filled* briefs. He's fiddling with the waist line, such a cock *heh* tease. He knows he’s got what we want, and if we turn the cover, he’ll let us have it.

 



Well, we’ve done just about every variation on the theme by now, so let’s go back to the basics: Black on black, a full cover shot of Batman’s ass. Add in the utility belt for colour – give it that Sin City look. Show me thick, powerful legs under that latex or whatever the hell he wears. Clenched butt muscles. Make it obvious this is no BatGIRL we’re talking about.


free hit counter

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 04:16 am (UTC)
maelithil

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

They seem to have shut up for now, but if they start spouting nonesense again can I link them to the pictures? Because this is EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT GODDAMMIT.

Perfect. This is perfect. And also awesome.

*HEARTS YOU MIGHTILY*

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 04:19 am (UTC)
odditycollector

Go ahead! This is their whole purpose.

I mean, you wouldn't want crotch-grabbing Superman to be unfulfilled...

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 04:18 am (UTC)
rubynye

Wow.

I want to comment praising you for the clear message you've transmitted using art, your well-crafted and precise metaphor, or somesuch intelligent comment as you deserve.

But actually? The little green nutsack seam has my brain melting and dripping out my ears.

Wow.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)
odditycollector

Thanks.

(And I figure if Miller gets recostuming privileges, then so do I.)

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 04:27 am (UTC)
brown_betty

…wow, this is exactly as horrifying as it should be, and also, why you are awesome. Gah! I'm going to go brainpuke now.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
odditycollector

It's very sad I feel victorious on account of you feeling ill, isn't it.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 05:03 am (UTC)
vagabondsal

Man, if All-Star Batman looked like that, I might actually pick up an issue.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 05:19 am (UTC)
odditycollector

Well, there is Diana's ass... You could pretend Bruce is crossdressing?

You know, for *justice*.
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Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
minim_calibre

Damn. I think I love you. Just... yes. Exactly.

::cue ironic use of icon::

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

*considers ironic icon* Is that Harley? I loved that miniseries.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 11:13 am (UTC)
gileonnen

The worst/best part is, your lovely and pointed covers are anatomically possible, whereas Miller's lady appears to have disjointed her spine.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

I know! But I have no drawing skills, so I was left with trying to figure out photoshop. (Or saving myself hours and just doing the text, I suppose, but we've all heard it before.)

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 02:25 pm (UTC)
cereta

*flails* Yes. Exactly.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

Thanks. It's just... this was *necessary*, you know?

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:09 pm (UTC)
wickedprincess3

Oh god this is hilarious (and a bit disturbing. a lot) but also, so very much just *it*. Oh man. :)

Fri, Apr. 21st, 2006 12:50 am (UTC)
odditycollector

hilarious (and a bit disturbing. a lot)
*g* I'm glad that came across. It would have lost something with *tasteful* images, I think.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC)
sizequeen

You know what's astonishing about FM? He can't draw for shit. In "Sin City," the art was "stylized," but in a bright mainstream superhero comic, his drawings look like the work of an arthritic bear.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 09:02 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

I honestly haven't been following the series... one of the earlier covers scarred me quite badly.
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Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:20 pm (UTC)
giggerota

That's what momma wants. Yum!

Fri, Apr. 21st, 2006 12:51 am (UTC)
odditycollector

Hey, help yourself.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:28 pm (UTC)
roachspit

Oh god. Yes, love it, thanks. If just one cover like this made it out, I would never again have to deal with icky guys at the comics shop. But they would finally get it.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

Exactly. (And I don't think I'd miss the icky type of guys, although it may be the industry might...)
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Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
ratcreature

Bwahaha. These are great.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:46 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

Thanks!
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Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

The poster goes on along the lines of it not being Miller's fault Diana's Icon is on her ass, actually... at which point my brain sort of imploded and you can see the result.

I mean, I'm not arguing against pin up covers or blatant fanservice, really. It's just that the objectification *is* there, and it is *skeevy* when you're not the intended audience.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
huzzlewhat

This is brilliant, and disturbing, and funny, and makes the point perfectly. Especially with the "script." Very Well Done.

Fri, Apr. 21st, 2006 12:44 am (UTC)
odditycollector

Thanks very much!

(I just... I can not get over that script for All Star Batman. Or that they *published it*.)

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
count_fenring

Heh. My fandom's weakness is listening to lying blue god-gnomes when they tell me I can't hurt yellow things.

Thu, Apr. 20th, 2006 11:40 pm (UTC)
odditycollector

It doesn't have *quite* the same ring, I think. ;)